Attachment: The First Core Strength
Channel: Young Mothers |
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� | The ability to form attachments is the first of six core strengths that are an essential part of healthy emotional development. These core strengths are the foundation of Scholastic's company-wide program, Keep the Cool in School: A Scholastic Campaign Against Violence and Verbal Abuse. In this article, Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., explores attachment and how it contributes to preventing aggression and anti-social behaviors in children. "My teacher!" The 5-year-old child blurted out in the grocery as she ran, smiling, to hug her kindergarten teacher. It made both their days. Throughout life, each of us will form thousands of relationships. These bonds take many forms. Some are enduring and intimate-our dearest friend-while others are transient and superficial-the chatty store clerk. Together, relationships in all forms create the glue of a family, community, and society. This capacity to form and maintain relationships is the most important trait of humankind, for without it none of us would survive, learn, work, or procreate. The first and most important of all relationships are attachment bonds. Initially, these are created through interactions with our primary caregivers, usually parents. First relationships help define our capacity for attachment and set the tone for all of our future relationships. What Is Attachment? Attachment is the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships. An attachment bond has unique properties. The capacity to create these special relationships begins in early childhood. Unique Features of an Attachment Bond - Enduring form of a bond with a "special" person
- Involves soothing, comfort, and pleasure
- Loss or threat of loss of the special person evokes intense distress
- There is security and safety in context of this relationship
At birth, a baby is essentially emotionally "unattached." Despite the obvious physical connection of the umbilical cord, the newborn does not yet have strong connections to another human. During infancy and early childhood, one form of attachment-socio-emotional-begins to replace the original physical attachment of the cord. As dependent as ever, a baby requires constant attention and care from another human being in order to survive. Calories and a "bath" of physical sensations-sight, sounds, smells, touch, and taste-help the infant survive and grow to meet her potential. This "somatosensory" bath from a loving caregiver-the rocking, hugs, coos, and smiles-is transformed by the infant's sensory systems into patterned neuronal activity that influences the development of the brain in positive ways. It is in this dependent relationship between the primary caregivers and the infant that the new form of attachment grows. This attachment-the emotional relationship-is not as easy to see or document, yet it is nonetheless as important for human development as the umbilical cord is in utero. It is these experiences of infancy and early childhood that create the roots of attachment-the capacity to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships. Except in the most extreme cases we are all born with the genetic capability to form and maintain healthy emotional relationships. When the infant has attentive, responsive, and loving caregiving, this genetic potential is expressed. And as this infant becomes a toddler and more people-family, friends, peers-enter his life, he will continue to develop this capacity to have healthy and strong emotional relationships. Attachment and Pleasure Our brain is designed to promote relationships. Specific parts of the human brain respond to emotional cues (such as facial expressions, touch, scent) and, more important, allow us to get pleasure from positive human interactions. The systems in the brain that mediate pleasure appear to be closely connected to the systems that mediate emotional relationships. Indeed this inter-relationship-the capacity to get pleasure from other people-creates a major positive learning tool of infancy and childhood. Young children want to please their teachers. They model adults and children they admire. When attachment capacity develops normally, the child gets pleasure from interacting with other people. The degree of pleasure is related to the degree of attachment-pleasing a parent brings more pleasure than pleasing a stranger. It is this very property that helps parents and teachers shape pro-social and social behaviors in a child. In the process of teaching children emotional, social, and cognitive tasks, the strongest rewards for a child are the attention, approval, and recognition of success that the parent or teacher can give. Conversely, when a child feels he have displeased a parent or teacher, he can be devastated. Attachment Capacity Matures In order to be capable of forming the wide array of healthy relationships required throughout life, a young child's attachment capacities must mature. While the roots of attachment are related to the primary caregiving experiences in early childhood, full expression of attachment potential requires social and emotional interactions with non-caregivers. As children become older, they spend less time with parents and more time with peers and other adults. This time with peers and other adults provides many opportunities for continued emotional growth. In early childhood, the relationships with peers start as acquaintanships. With more time together, however, young children create friendships and the opportunity for strong emotional bonds can develop. In a similar fashion, a young child may form a strong connection with an attentive and nurturing teacher. The acquaintance, the friend, and the teacher all provide different and complementing social and emotional opportunities that help a child's attachment capabilities mature. When Attachment Goes Wrong If a child has few positive relationships in early childhood or has had a bad start due to problems with the primary-caregiving experiences of infancy, this child is at risk for a host of problems. In a very real sense, the glue of normal human interactions is gone. A child with poor attachment capacity is much harder to "shape" and teach. This child will feel little pleasure from the teacher's smile or approving words. And he does not feel bad disappointing, angering, or upsetting a parent or teacher. Without the capacity to use human interactions to "reward" and "punish," the teacher and parent often are confused and frustrated in their attempts to promote appropriate social behavior. In extreme cases, the child with poor attachment capacity demonstrates no remorse when harming others and risk developing further anti-social or even aggressive and violent behaviors. This child needs help. Research and clinical experience show that attachment capacity is easiest to shape if early identification and intervention takes place. What you can do to promote the development of healthy attachment: - Smile and look children in the eyes as you greet them
- Spend time with the child. Quantity matters. During this time, get on the floor, listen and establish eye contact.
- Use touch to comfort-even as a pre-school teacher, it is appropriate to hug, gently touch a shoulder, or hold hands.
- Help children learn appropriate social-emotional language (how close to stand, how to use eye contact, when to touch, how to touch).
- Remember that there are many styles of forming and maintaining relationships-a shy child is not an unattached child. If you sense a child is having a hard time engaging others, help facilitate this by actively including her or pairing her with another child who has a matching temperament.
Back to top This article orginally appeared in Early Childhood Today magazine. |
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Mothers' Depression Changes Babies Language Learning
Channel: Young Mothers |
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Family Facts: BC Council Blog Mothers' Depression Changes Babies Language Learning Feb 24  by Pilar Onatra
Program Coordinator
According to new research released from UBC, babies born to depressed mothers acquire language skills at a slightly different rate than do babies of non-depressed women. Not only that, but the children of women treating their depression with serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SRIs (a common antidepressant) also show unique differences in language acquisition. What does this mean for parents, and for kids? The researchers caution against reading too much into the findings, emphasizing that they are preliminary. "Poor mental health during pregnancy is a major public health issue for mothers and their families" says study co-author Dr. Tim Oberlander, a professor of developmental pediatrics at UBC. "Non-treatment is never an option. While some infants might be at risk, others may benefit from mother's treatment with an SRI during their pregnancy. We are just not sure at this stage why some but not all infants are affected in the same way. It is really important that pregnant women discuss all treatment options with their physicians or midwives." UBC's Janet Werker, a professor of psychology and researcher with the UBC Early Years Development Research Group, has been studying children's language acquisition for years. Her research has shown that during the first months of life, babies rapidly tune in to the language sounds they hear around them and the sights they see (movements in the face that accompany talking), and start to tune out language sounds in languages that they don't commonly hear spoken. Her most recent research has pointed to intriguing differences in the length of time that babies take in this developmental stage when their mothers are depressed, and if they are taking antidepressants. Her team's preliminary findings suggest that SRI treatment may accelerate babies' ability to attune to the sounds and sights of the native language, while maternal depression untreated by SRIs may prolong the period of tuning. But does a speeded up or prolonged period of language recognition affect how well babies ultimately do at acquiring language?� It's too early to tell, according to Werker: "At this point, we do not know if accelerating or delaying the achievement of these milestones of early infancy has any consequences on later language acquisition," she says, noting that she aims to address such questions in future studies. "However, these preliminary findings highlight the importance of environmental factors on infant development and put us in a better position to support not only optimal language development in children but also maternal well-being."
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Family Facts: BC Council Blog Aboriginal Fathers, a Largely Overlooked Population
Channel: Young Fathers |
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"How can you be a father if you haven't had a father?" That's a question that faces many aboriginal fathers in Canada today, and it's a question that had the spotlight in January, with the screening of a CBC documentary on January 14, Blind Spot: What Happened to Canada's Aboriginal Fathers, which examined the challenges facing three Aboriginal fathers in Regina. The film, which follows the men on their journey into fatherhood, takes a hard look at the roots of the growing crisis of absent fathers in aboriginal families, and tries to answer one very glaring question: "why has this issue never before been publicly addressed?" The history of residential schools, intergenerational trauma and the many societal obstacles facing Aboriginal fathers have led to many men being absent from their children's lives. CBC reporter Geoff Leo, who produced the documentary, noted that he was inspired to examine the issue further after realizing that "every time I did a story about aboriginal families, aboriginal social problems, I was almost always talking to the mom or the grandma or the auntie. I never was talking to the dad. All of a sudden the thought kind of occurred to me - putting together what I knew of the literature around the difference dads can make, looking at all the problems in the First Nations community and looking at the absence of fathers, I knew there was some sort of connection here." (quoted in Regina Leader-Post) In the lead-up to the documentary's screening, CBC radio's The Current hosted a forum in Whitehorse to shed light on the issue of absent Aboriginal fathers in that community. Some of the statistics that were discussed include: - Within 10 years, half of all aboriginal children in Canada will be growing up fatherless
- Children without a father in their lives are more likely to be depressed, to have low self esteem and to commit suicide
- Young men born to teen mothers are ten times more likely to become offenders
- One in 5 First Nations women over the age of 15 is a single mom
Jessica Ball, a professor of Child and Youth Care at the University of Victoria who participated in both Blind Spot and the Whitehorse radio forum, has been studying aboriginal fathering in Canada for years. "Fathers would say when they play with their child they feel this tremendous sadness because they never ever had a chance to play themselves," she says. "And it just evokes feelings of longing and yearning in the child part of them that never really got nurtured." To learn more about how to support Aboriginal fathers in your community, check out the resources and DVD for family-serving professionals available through the Intercultural Early Childhood Development Partnerships. Jessica Ball will be presenting a workshop on aboriginal fatherhood in Nanaimo, February 21-23, hosted by the Community Health Associates of BC. BC Council for Families David Sheftel- Program Coordinator
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Breastfeeding Starting out right
Channel: Young Mothers |
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Breastfeeding - Starting Out RightBreastfeeding is the natural and normal way of feeding infants and young children, and human milk is the milk made specifically for human infants. Starting out right helps to ensure breastfeeding is a pleasant experience for both you and your baby. Breastfeeding should be easy and trouble free for most mothers.
The vast majority of mothers are perfectly capable of breastfeeding their babies exclusively for about six months. In fact, most mothers should be able to produce more than enough milk. Unfortunately, outdated hospital policies and routines based on bottle feeding still predominate in too many health care institutions and make breastfeeding difficult, even impossible, for too many mothers and babies. Too frequently also, these mothers blame themselves. For breastfeeding to be well and properly established, getting off to the best start from the first days can make all the difference in the world. Of course, even with a terrible start, many mothers and babies manage. And yes, many mothers just put the baby to the breast and it works just fine.
The basis of breastfeeding is getting the baby to latch on well. A baby who latches on well gets milk well. A baby who latches on poorly has more difficulty getting milk, especially if the milk supply is not abundant. The milk supply is not abundant in the first days after birth; this is normal, as nature intended, but if the baby's latch is not good, the baby has difficulty getting the milk. It is for this reason that so many mothers "don't have enough colostrum". The mothers almost always do have enough colostrum but the baby is not getting what is there. Babies don't need much milk in the first few days, but they need some.
Even if the mother's milk production is plentiful, trying to breastfeed a baby with a poor latch is similar to giving a baby a bottle with a nipple hole that is too small-the bottle is full of milk, but the baby will not get much or will get it very slowly-so the baby sucking at the breast may spend long periods on the breast or return to the breast frequently or not be happy at the breast, all of which may convince the mother she doesn't have enough milk, which is most often not true.
When a baby is latching on poorly, he may also cause the mother nipple pain. And if, at the same time, he does not get milk well, he will usually stay on the breast for long periods, thus aggravating the pain. Too often the mothers are told the baby's latch is perfect, but it's easy to say that the baby is latched on well even if he isn't. Mothers are also getting confusing and contradictory messages about breastfeeding from books, magazines, the internet, family and health professionals. Many health professionals actually have had very little training on how to prevent breastfeeding problems or how to treat them should they arise. Here are a few ways breastfeeding can be made easier: - The baby should be skin-to-skin with the mother and have access to the breast immediately after birth. The vast majority of newborns can be skin-to-skin with the mother and have access to the breast within minutes of birth. Indeed, research has shown that, given the chance, many babies only minutes old will crawl up to the breast from the mother's abdomen, latch on, and start breastfeeding all by themselves. This process may take only a few minutes or take up to an hour or longer, but the mother and baby should be given this time (at least the first hour or two) together to start learning about each other. Babies who "self-attach" run into far fewer breastfeeding problems. This process does not take any effort on the mother's part, and the excuse that it cannot be done because the mother is tired after labour is nonsense, pure and simple.
- The baby should be kept skin to skin with mother as much as possible immediately after birth and for as much as possible in the first few weeks of life. Incidentally, studies have also shown that skin-to-skin contact between mothers and babies keeps the baby as warm as an incubator (see paragraph on skin-to-skin contact, below, and the information sheet The Importance of Skin-to-Skin Contact). It is true that many babies do not latch on and breastfeed during this time but generally, this is not a problem, and there is no harm in waiting for the baby to start breastfeeding. The skin to skin contact is good and very important for the baby and the mother even if the baby does not latch on.
- Skin-to-skin contact helps the baby adapt to his new environment: the baby's breathing and heart rate are more normal, the oxygen in his blood is higher, his temperature is more stable and his blood sugar higher. Furthermore, there is some good evidence that the more babies are kept skin-to-skin in the first few days and weeks of life (not just during the feedings) the better their brain development will be. As well, it is now thought that the baby's brain develops in certain ways only due to this skin-to-skin contact, and this important growth happens mostly in the first 3-8 weeks of life.
- A proper latch is crucial to success. This is the key to successful breastfeeding. Unfortunately, too many mothers are being "helped" by people who don't know what a proper latch is. If you are being told your two-day old baby's latch is good despite your having very sore nipples, be sceptical and ask for help from someone else. Before you leave the hospital, you should be shown that your baby is latched on properly and that he is actually getting milk from the breast and that you know how to know he is getting milk from the breast (open mouth wide-pause-close mouth type of suck). See also the videos on how to latch a baby on. There are also video clips of babies younger than 48 hours who are breastfeeding not just sucking. If you and the baby are leaving hospital not knowing this, get experienced help quickly (see also the information sheet When Latching).
Note: Mothers are often told that if the breastfeeding is painful, the latch is not good (usually true), so that the mother should take the baby off and latch him on again and again and again... This is not a good idea. Instead of delatching and relatching, fix the latch that you have as best you can by pushing the baby's bottom into your body with your forearm. The baby's head is tipped back so the nose is in ‘sniffing position'. If necessary, you might try gently pulling down the baby's chin so he has more of the breast in his mouth. If that doesn't help, do not take the baby off the breast and relatch him several times, because usually, the pain diminishes anyway. The latch can be fixed on the other side or at the next feeding. Taking the baby off the breast and latching him on again and again only multiplies the pain and the damage and the mother's and baby's frustration.
- The mother and baby should room in together. There is absolutely no medical reason for healthy mothers and babies to be separated from each other, even for short periods, even after caesarean section. Health facilities that have routine separations of mothers and babies after birth are not doing right by the mothers and babies. Studies showing that rooming-in 24 hours a day results in better breastfeeding success, less frustrated babies and happier mothers date back to the 1930's. Too often, irrelevant excuses are given why baby should be separated from the mother. One example is that the baby passed meconium before birth. A baby who passes meconium and is fine a few minutes after birth will be fine and does not need to be in an incubator for several hours' "observation".
- Separation of mother and baby so the mother can rest. There is no evidence that mothers who are separated from their babies are better rested. On the contrary, the mothers are better rested and less stressed when they are with their babies. Mothers and babies learn how to sleep in the same rhythm. Thus, when the baby starts waking for a feed, the mother is also starting to wake up naturally. This is not as tiring for the mother as being awakened from deep sleep, as she often is if the baby is elsewhere when he wakes up. If the mother is shown how to feed the baby while both are lying down side by side, the mother is better rested.
- The baby's feeding cues. The baby shows long before he starts crying that he is ready to feed. His breathing may change, for example. Or he may start to stretch. The mother, often being in light sleep in sync with her baby, will wake up, her milk will start to flow and the calm baby will usually go to the breast contentedly. A baby who has been crying for some time before being tried on the breast may refuse to take the breast even if he is ravenous. Mothers and babies should be encouraged to sleep side by side in hospital. This is a great way for mothers to rest while the baby breastfeeds. Breastfeeding should be relaxing, not tiring.
- Bathing. There is no reason the baby needs to be bathed immediately after birth and bathing can be delayed for several hours. Immediately after birth, the baby can be dried off but it is not a good idea to wash or wipe off the creamy layer on the baby's skin (vernix) that has been shown to protect his delicate skin. It is best to wait at least until the mother and baby have had a chance to get breastfeeding well started, with baby coming to the breast and latching easily. Furthermore, diapering a baby before a feed is not advised as it often causes the baby to become upset. Mothers are sometimes told diapering will help the baby to wake up. It is not necessary to wake the baby for feedings. If the baby is skin-to-skin with the mother, the baby will wake when ready and search for the breast. A baby who is feeding well will let the mother know when he is ready for the next feed. Feeding by the clock makes no sense.
- Artificial nipples should not be given to the baby. There seems to be some controversy about whether "nipple confusion" exists. Thus, in the first few days, when the mother is normally producing only a little milk (as nature intended), and the baby gets a bottle (as nature intended?) from which he gets rapid flow, the baby will tend to prefer the rapid flow method. Babies like fast flow. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out and the baby will very quickly. By the way, it is not the baby who is confused. Nipple confusion includes a range of problems, including the baby not taking the breast as well as he could and thus not getting milk well and/or the mother getting sore nipples. Just because a baby will "take both" does not mean that the bottle is not having a negative effect. Since there are now alternatives available if the baby needs to be supplemented (see the information sheets Lactation Aid, and Finger and Cup Feeding) why use an artificial nipple? Using a lactation aid, finger feeding or cup feeding to supplement when the baby does not need a supplement is only marginally better than using a bottle to supplement.
- No restriction on length or frequency of breastfeedings. A baby who drinks well will not be on the breast for hours at a time (see the video clips of very young babies getting milk very well). Thus, if the baby is on the breast for very long periods of time, it is usually because he is not latching on well and not getting the milk that is available. Get help to fix the baby's latch, and use compression to get the baby more milk (See the information sheet Breast Compression). Compression works very well in the first few days to get the colostrum flowing well. This, not a pacifier, not a bottle, not taking the baby to the nursery or nurses' station, will help. Babies often feed frequently in the first few days of life-this is normal and temporary. In fact, babies tend to feed frequently during the first few days especially in the evening or night-time. This is normal and helps to establish the milk supply and facilitate mother's uterus returning to normal. Latching a baby well, using compressions, and maintaining skin to skin contact between mother and baby helps this transitional period to go smoothly.
- Supplements of water, sugar water, or formula are rarely needed. Most supplements could be avoided by getting the baby to take the breast properly and thus get the milk that is available. If you are being told you need to supplement without someone having observed you breastfeeding, ask for someone to help who knows what they are doing. There are rare indications for supplementation, but often supplements are suggested for "convenience" or due to outdated hospital policies. If supplements are required, they should be given by lactation aid at the breast (see the information sheet Lactation Aid), not cup, finger feeding, syringe or bottle. The best supplement is your own colostrum. It can be mixed with 5% sugar water to give more volume if you are not able to express much at first. It is difficult to express much at first because even though there is usually enough for the baby, expressing is not always easy when there is not a lot of milk, as is expected in the first few days. Formula is hardly ever necessary in the first few days. (See our GamePlan for Protecting and Supporting Breastfeeding in the First 24 hours of Life and Beyond, which can be ordered at nbci.ca
- Free formula samples and formula company literature are not gifts. There is only one purpose for these "gifts" and that is to get you to use formula. It is very effective and it is unethical marketing. If you get any from any health professional, you should be wondering about his/her knowledge of breastfeeding and his/her commitment to breastfeeding. "But I need formula because the baby is not getting enough!" Maybe, but, more likely, you weren't given good help and the baby is simply not getting the milk that is available. Even if you need formula, nobody should be suggesting a particular brand and giving you free samples. Getgood help. Formula samples are not help.
Under some circumstances, it may be impossible to start breastfeeding early. However, most "medical reasons" (maternal medication, for example) are not true reasons for stopping or delaying breastfeeding, and you are getting misinformation. See the information sheets Medication and Breastfeeding and also Illness and Breastfeeding. Get good help. Premature babies (see the information sheetPremature Baby and Breastfeeding) can start breastfeeding much, much earlier than 34 weeks of age that seems to be the rule in many health facilities. Studies are now quite definite that it is less stressful for a premature baby to breastfeed than to bottle feed. Unfortunately, too many health professionals dealing with premature babies do not seem to be aware of this (See the information sheet Premature Baby and Breastfeeding).
Not latching/Not breastfeeding? If for some reason baby is not taking the breast, then start expressing your colostrum by hand (often much more effective than using even a hospital grade pump) should be started within 6 hours or so after birth, or as soon as it becomes apparent baby will not be feeding at the breast. See the information sheet When the Baby Does Not Yet Latch On.
Questions? First look at the website nbci.ca or drjacknewman.com. If the information you need is not there, go to Contact Us and give us the information listed there in your email. Information is also available in Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding (called The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers in the USA); and/or our DVD, Dr. Jack Newman's Visual Guide to Breastfeeding (available in French or with subtitles in Spanish, Portuguese and Italian); and/or The Latch Book and Other Keys to Breastfeeding Success; and/or L-eat Latch and Transfer Tool; and/or the GamePlan for Protecting and Supporting Breastfeeding in the First 24 Hours of Life and Beyond.
To make an appointment online with our clinic please visit www.nbci.ca. If you do not have easy access to email or internet, you may phone (416) 498-0002.
Written and revised (under other names) by Jack Newman, MD, FRCPC, 1995-2005
Revised Jack Newman MD, FRCPC, IBCLC and Edith Kernerman, IBCLC, 2008, 2009 |
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All of our information sheets may be copied and distributed without further permission on the condition that it is not used in ANY context that violates the
WHO International Code on the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes (1981)
and subsequent World Health Assembly resolutions.
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Quick Facts on Grandparenting
Channel: Grandparents |
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Grandparenting Numbers - There were 5.7 million grandparents in Canada in 2001. Each grandparent had on average 4.7 grandchildren.
- First-time grandparenthood is a mid-life event: Canadians typically become grandparents in their late 40s or early 50s.
- The average age of Canadian grandparents is about 65.
- Nearly two-thirds (65%) of Canadian women aged 55 to 64 and over half (53%) of men in this age range are grandparents.
- Nearly 4 out of 5 people in Canada aged 75 or older are grandparents
- 53% of grandparents in Canada are retired, 30% are still in the labour force, and 11% are home makers or childcare providers.
Contributions of Grandparents- Grandparents are family resources: they are babysitters, they transmit family history, traditions, and social values, and they are confidants and role models.
- A century ago, grandparents could expect to spend only 10 years with their grandchildren. Today grandparents and grandchildren can expect up to 20 years together.
- Almost 40% of Canadians aged 15 or over with a living grandparent see their grandparent more than once a month.
- One US study revealed that the most popular activities among grandparents and grandchildren include: having dinner together (86%), eating out (84%), watching TV (76%), going shopping (75%), and reading together (75%).
- In 1997, 46% percent of US grandparentsfelt they were more relaxed and easy-going with their grandchildren than the children's parents were.
- By offering emotional or material support to their adult children, grandparents may reduce the overall stress in their grandchildren’s families.
- About 35% of grandparents in shared homes were household maintainers (or primary financial providers).
- In 1998, American grandparents reported spending a median of $505 a year on their grandchildren, up from $250 in 1988.
- British Columbia, Alberta, Quebec and New Brunswick have laws recognizing the rights of grandparents to have access to their grandchildren.
Grandparents as Caregivers- With their age and experience, grandparents can act as buffers between parents and grandchildren in volatile family situations, and as family anchors in a fast-changing world.
- In a 2005 survey, 42% of baby boomers felt it is extremely important to be close to family. Nearly half would consider moving to be within three hours of grandchildren.
- 4% of Canadians, or about 930,000 people, lived in multigenerational households in 2001.
- Multigenerational households are most common in British Columbia: 4.9% of individuals in this province live with extended family.
- In 2001 there were 8780 children in BC living with a grandparent, with no parent present
- 3.9% of BC children aged 0-14 live with their grandparents.
- In 2001, a total of 56,700 Canadian grandparents were living with their grandchildren without either of the child's parents involved.
- One in 250 Canadian children lives with grandparents only.
Sources Davies, Curt and Dameka Williams. “The Grandparent Study 2002 Report.” AARP, 2002. Gardner, Marilyn. “Grandparents go the extra miles to live near their kids.” Christian Science Monitor. Vol. 97 Iss. 243, 2005. “Grandparents and Grandchildren.” The Daily. Statistics Canada. Dec 9, 2003. “Grandparenting Today.” Expression: Bulletin of the National Advisory Council on Aging. Vol 18 #3, 2005. Milan, Ann and Brian Hamm. “Across the generations: Grandparents and grandchildren”. Canadian Social Trends. Ottawa, Iss. 71, 2003. “(Not so) Grand Times.” American Demographics. Vol. 20, Issue 3, 1998. Profiling Canada’s Families III. The Vanier Institute of the Family, 2004. Rosenthal, Carolyn J. and James Gladstone. 2000. Grandparenthood in Canada. The Vanier Institute of the Family. ‘Spotlight: Grandparents’. Infomat. Statistics Canada, 2004. **TAKEN FROM: http://www.bccf.ca/all/resources/quick-facts-grandparenting** BC Council on Families |
Beyond “I’m Sorry”: 5 Tips for Making Your Child's Apologies Meaningful
Channel: Babies/Toddlers |
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By Amy McCready - Sep 25, 2011 Teaching kids to treat others appropriately is certainly one of a parent’s trickiest jobs—and learning how to make amends when your child is unkind to another is a big part of that. Circle of Moms member Samantha, makes her daughter apologize after a scuffle with a playmate but she’s concerned that her daughter isn’t really learning the lesson. “She says she’s sorry but I don’t think it phases her a bit!”, this mom reports. Samantha is probably right. Forcing kids to begrudgingly issue apologies may make parents feel better, but both kids know that justice hasn’t truly been served with a halfhearted apology. More importantly, you miss the opportunity to help your child resolve the conflict in a more positive way in the future.
Fortunately, there are several key things you can do to help your child learn a lesson from her misbehavior and guide her future actions, even while making amends to the other child. Once everyone is calmed down from the incident, follow these five steps:
1. Avoid Punishing or Shaming Your ChildWhen your daughter hits someone or grabs a toy out of another child’s hands, your first response might be to yell, put her in timeout or even give her a little swat on the bottom. The problem is that none of these reactions actually help your daughter learn a lesson—they only make her feel bad about herself and put her on the defensive. Let her know instead that while what she did was wrong, she now has the opportunity to “make it right.”
2. Ask Questions; Don’t LectureRather than giving a lecture that will likely fall on deaf ears, teach your child to process her emotions and take responsibility for her actions by helping her identify and label her feelings. Ask, “How were you feeling before you hit Abby?” Or, for younger kids, say “Wow, you looked really angry before you hit Abby.” Reinforce that while the feeling is okay, the behavior that followed wasn’t.
3. Connect the Feeling to the ActionHelp your child learn that her actions have a real effect on other people by asking, “When you felt angry and hit Abby, how did that make her feel?” This reinforces that angry feelings are okay but what we do with those feelings can hurt someone else.
4. Make it RightHold a mini-brainstorming session with your daughter to figure out a way for her to make amends to her friend. A verbal apology may be appropriate if it’s truly genuine and from the heart, but it could be that drawing a picture, sharing a favorite toy or offering a hug would do a better job of making the injured party feel better.
5. Role-play a RedoFinish your daughter’s important life lesson by coming up with a few more constructive ways to handle a similar situation next time, and then practicing them through role-play. Once she’s comfortable negotiating disagreements with her stuffed animals and dolls, she’ll be more likely to use positive conflict resolution tactics in the future. Treat each conflict as a learning opportunity, and soon you’ll begin to notice fewer of them. When they do happen, you’ll love watching your daughter demonstrate true empathy as she works to make amends. That means better playdates now—and stronger relationships throughout her life.
Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling. For easy to implement strategies for happier families and well-behaved kids, follow Positive Parenting Solutions on Facebook.
Taken from: http://www.circleofmoms.com/article/beyond-i-m-sorry-5-tips-making-your-child-s-apologies-meaningful-01761
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Activist documents 'invisible' people
Channel: Other |
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By DEVIN HEROUX, THE STARPHOENIX AUGUST 3, 2011 Mark Horvath was living the life he always thought he would until years of bad decisions left him homeless on Hollywood Boulevard. The successful TV industry mover and shaker literally went from having it all to having nothing. “What’s sad is there’s so many people who feel invisible,” Horvath said of homeless people. “It’s not that we’re bad people when we walk by a homeless person, it’s that we don’t want to feel other people’s pain.” This week, Horvath is in Saskatoon sharing his story and documenting other people’s stories of homelessness across Canada. On Tuesday, Horvath was scouring Saskatoon streets, underbellies and allies — places he knows all too well from his days without a home. During his walkabout, he found a group of people seeking refuge behind a church on 20th Street West. Without blinking an eye, Horvath started chatting with them. “I just talked to a gentleman on the street that most people wouldn’t ever dream of talking to,” said Horvath, “I was that guy.” Horvath is documenting his encounters with homeless people at every stop on a Canada-wide tour. The public can follow Horvath’s journey on www.invisiblepeople.tv, a site sharing unedited, uncensored and raw interview footage. His hope is to show homeless people aren’t so different. Horvath’s own story is a compelling one. After moving from Los Angeles to St. Louis, Horvath began rebuilding his life and before long, he was living in a three-bedroom house with a swimming pool. Times were good again, but a collapsing U.S. economy ran Horvath out of his six-figure job. Drinking and other bad choices sent him into another downward spiral. He went from being on top of the world, again, to eating $1 pizzas. It wasn’t until Horvath made a decision to stop drinking and get back on track that everything changed. He had $45 left, a camera and a laptop — he also had an idea that would help himself and others. The social media activist decided to start visiting communities and documenting stories of homelessness in North America. “I just had to get outside of myself and help somebody else,” he said. “There’s magic that happens when you do that and you get some perspective.” Horvath has that perspective. He knows what it’s like to scrounge for a meal, search for a place to sleep or wonder when he would get his next drink. It’s his experiences that allow Horvath to approach people he says never get a chance to share their story. “You can’t just put up a video and not engage with people,” he said. “If it wasn’t for the miracles I see, I wouldn’t do this.” For as much positivity as there is exuding from Horvath, there is still some angst toward communities not doing enough to fight homelessness. When Horvath begins to sense the east versus west divide in Saskatoon, there’s an evident level of frustration. “I hate communities where there are divisions,” he said. “These are real people who probably lived on your side of the tracks and just fell on hard times.” As far as he’s concerned, homelessness is a problem affecting every resident of a city. “Communities do one of two things to combat homelessness,” said Horvath. “They either try and hide it or bulldoze it, or there’s communities that embrace homelessness and do something about it.” His nearly three-month tour began in Victoria in early July and will stop in 20 other Canadian cities along the way. Horvath’s message to residents in the city is a simple one. “Everybody goes through hard times, we all do,” he said. “I’m living proof you should never give up on people.” dheroux@thestarphoenix.com © Copyright (c) The StarPhoenix
Read more: http://www.thestarphoenix.com/news/Activist+documents+invisible+people/5195366/story.html#ixzz1U09SxtKf
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Teen Moms Are Taking Over Reality TV. Is That a Good Thing?
Channel: Pregnancy |
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By Feifei Sun
July 18, 2011
"This is the happiest day of my life!" So says Maci Bookout, according to a recent cover of OK! magazine, where the 19-year-old Teen Mom star and rumored bride-to-be flashes a beauty-queen smile. Sharing cover space with Bookout — and sporting a bikini, plus a baby on each hip — is Leah Messer, 19, whose dream wedding was featured in last spring's season finale of Teen Mom 2. (One month later, she filed for divorce.) Elsewhere in the celebrity mediasphere, one might find Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham, 20, staging a photo op for paparazzi on a Florida beach, or Abraham's castmate Amber Portwood, 21, posing for photographers outside her latest court hearing; she was recently sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to felony domestic battery against the father of her child.
A spin-off of MTV's popular reality series 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom recently entered its third season. With more than 3 million viewers each week, it's the network's top-rated show after Jersey Shore, and its subjects provide endless fodder for the tabloids. But MTV's teen-pregnancy franchise is a more discomfiting venture than most artifacts of the reality-TV age. Not quite famous for being famous, as the denizens of The Hills and Jersey Shore are, these young mothers became famous for making unplanned detours into parenthood — and inviting cameras along for the ride. Though MTV recruited them to be the subjects of cautionary tales, the network has turned them into success stories: television stars and cover girls, gainfully employed just for being themselves. (Last December, Portwood disclosed that she earned $140,000 from a six-month contract with MTV.) The contradictions of Teen Mom — brand fame might be encapsulated in a 2010 cover of Us Weekly: Bookout and Abraham stand back to back, cradling their adorable toddlers and grinning sunnily above the somber headline INSIDE THEIR STRUGGLE.
It's an uneasy mix of messages from programs intended to document and deter teen pregnancy, not exalt it. Lauren Dolgen, senior vice president of series development at MTV and the creator of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, got the idea for the shows after reading that each year, 750,000 15-to-19-year-olds become pregnant in the U.S. "This is an epidemic that is happening to our audience, and it's a preventable epidemic," Dolgen says. "We thought it was so important to shed light on this issue and to show girls how hard teen parenting is."
Each episode of 16 and Pregnant tracks one teen from the latter stages of pregnancy to the first months of her child's life. The series does not sugarcoat the challenges its subjects face: the slights and scorn of peers, friction with disappointed (grand)parents, colic, drudgery, arguments, sleep deprivation and — with dismayingly few exceptions — the burden of a feckless, absent or outright abusive boyfriend. Both 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom (which features alums of 16 and Pregnant such as Bookout, Abraham and Portwood) beckon viewers to the website ItsYourSexLife.com which offers sex-ed resources and promotes dialogue between teens and their parents about sex.
The approach works. An October 2010 focus-group study commissioned by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found that 4 in 10 teenagers who watch an episode of 16 and Pregnant talk about the show with a parent afterward and that more than 90% of them think teen pregnancy is harder than they imagined before watching the series. "Any show that provides an opportunity to get more direction from a responsible adult, whether it's a parent or an educator — that's a terrific opportunity," says Leslie Kantor, national director of education initiatives for Planned Parenthood Federation of America.
But Kantor adds that despite their quest for gritty realism, the shows may create a distorted view of teen sexual activity. "Showing the consequences of risky behavior can be helpful to some young people," she says. "What you don't want is to send the message that everybody is having unprotected sex. These shows create a perception that tremendous numbers of teens are becoming pregnant or becoming parents."
And actually, they're not. The teen pregnancy rate in the U.S. has consistently declined over the past 20 years, except for a small spike from 2005 to 2007. Approximately 7% of girls 15 to 19 years old became pregnant in 2006 — a significant number but perhaps not an epidemic. Nor does the casting of the shows reflect the actual racial breakdown of teen pregnancy. While Teen Mom focuses heavily on white girls, unplanned pregnancies affect African-American and Hispanic teens at nearly three times the rate of whites.
Liz Gateley, a former executive producer of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom who is no longer with MTV, says the network specifically targeted middle-class girls through church groups and parenting organizations. "If we did inner-city people who really had difficulty with their upbringing," she says, "we thought the public will discount this as, 'Oh, that doesn't apply to me.'" According to Gateley, the model for the series was Juno, the Oscar-winning 2007 film about a white, middle-class teenage girl who gets pregnant — right down to the animated-sketchbook style of the movie's credits. (Dolgen would not directly contradict Gateley's account, but she maintains that the show casts a wide net in recruiting subjects.)
Bookout, subject of the premiere episode on June 11, 2009, was cast after her mother happened upon a Craigslist ad for the program while searching online for maternity-modeling jobs for her daughter. "When I first watched [the premiere], I had no idea it was going to be as big of a deal as it is now — such a controversial phenomenon," Bookout says.
But she has no regrets. During her two years in the limelight, she has left the father of her now 2-year-old son Bentley and fallen in love with a new man (though she says she has no wedding plans). She's appeared on dozens of magazine covers, spoken alongside Bristol Palin to groups about teen-pregnancy prevention and enrolled at Chattanooga State Community College, where she's studying English literature and creative writing. "I don't necessarily think I would change anything," Bookout says of her stint as a reality star. "I'm very proud of what my life has become and what the show has done."
Her castmate Catelynn Lowell, 19, is proud too. "I've changed girls' lives since the show started," she says. "I go to schools and talk about adoption, preaching contraceptives and abstinence." In many ways, Lowell is the outlier of the group. Unlike Bookout and the other Teen Mom parents, Lowell arranged an open adoption for her 2-year-old daughter Carly, and her relationship with her child's father remains intact; they plan to marry after graduating from college. The tabloids, for the most part, leave them alone. "I don't know why that is," Lowell says. "Probably because we don't get into trouble."
Other cast members can't say the same. Portwood is a fixture on TMZ.com and other tabloid sites; primary custody of her daughter Leah currently rests with the girl's father, and in June, Portwood was hospitalized after a reported suicide attempt. In March, Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans, 19, was arrested for assault, and in February 2010, Abraham's mother Debra Danielson struck a plea deal after she allegedly choked and hit her daughter.
These skirmishes may not come as a complete surprise to regular viewers of the shows. Tension, despair and sometimes explosive conflict are among the ingredients that make the series such addictive, even shocking television. That's why Bookout, the most glamorous star in the Teen Mom firmament, is also the last person to suggest that the shows glamorize their subjects.
"In every episode, someone is trying to figure out if they can pay their rent or go to school or find a job or when they're going to be able to take their next nap, because they haven't slept in 24 hours," Bookout says. "In every episode, someone has their heart broken.” http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2081928,00.html
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Baby Talk: How to Talk to Your Baby in a Nurturing Way
Channel: Babies/Toddlers |
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Babies learn language and speech through a relationship with their caregiver. That is why it’s important to know how to talk to your baby. This doesn’t mean baby talk, it means talking to your baby in a way that is sure to get his attention. Here are some hints on how: The following is provided by Registered Speech-Language Pathologist Carmen Hengeveld fromTotspeech
What does it sound like? POSITIVE not gruff - High pitched
- Animated (up and down inflection)
- Short phrases/words but are not ‘baby talk’
- Repeated key words
- Long pauses between phrases
- Gentle voice and not yelling
What does it look like? LOVING not teasing or mean - Baby and adult look at each other a lot
- Adult imitates baby’s sounds and gestures
- Adult uses many gestures and facial expressions
- Adult and baby take turns
- Adult smiles a lot
- Adult is very attentive to baby
What does it feel like? SAFE not scary - Adult says what the baby might say if the baby could talk
- Adult reads baby’s messages and respects baby’s wants and needs
- Adult is kind, gentle, encouraging, warm, loving, and enthusiastic
- Adult never purposely startles or scares baby
- Adult talks about baby’s emotions with sympathy
Taken from: http://www.tvo.org/cfmx/tvoorg/tvoparents/index.cfm?page_id=145&action=article&article_title_url=BabyTalkHowtoTalktoYourBabyinaNurturingWay&article_id=6263
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Top 50 Blogs for Teen Parents
Channel: Young Mothers |
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If struggling with the issue of teen parenting, have a look at these top 50 blogs for teen parents. No matter if you are the teen parent, the parent of a teen parent, or even the grandparent, there is something for you written by everyone from teen mothers to pediatricians. Top Blogs for Teen Parents by TeensGet a blog just for or by teenage parents in the below. - I’m a Teenage Mom Abby O’Neill likes to talk about immaturity and being a parent with plenty of it. In the blogging business since 2006, she has loads of posts to share on it. Words of wisdom and recommendations are often given through blog posts.
- Teen Parent TV Because teens would rather watch television than read, there is this blog. Entries come in both written and video form. There are also channels for teen mothers, fathers, and even grandparents.
- Teen Parents Blog Visit here for the official blog of the Capital District YFC’s Teen
 Parents Team. It features news, updates, prayer requests, and the occasional random thought. Be sure to visit their main site with more. - Teen Advice Blog Loads of bloggers stop by here to write about many issues surrounding teens. There is also a special section for teen pregnancy that has loads on what to expect. Other categories include health issues, school, family, and more.
- National Teen Pregnancy Get the latest headlines in teen parenting and pregnancy from the Examiner. It gathers all the relevant news from all the contributors to one convenient place. A recent one was on the Freedom Condom.
- Teen Parenting Families.com is a site that has loads of blog entries concerning the family. In this special section, they focus on teen parenting. Recent entries contain a true story of a teen mom and changes in attitudes towards teen pregnancy.
- Teen Diaries This blog is a life guide for young urban women. What guide would be complete without a section on teen parenting? Several bloggers take on the topic as well as many others important to teen girls.
- Teen Mom Blog If you love the MTV show “Teen Mom” and all its spin-offs, click here. The blogger here keeps news updates and details on girls from the show. Links to whole items are often shared.
By Melinda Moore
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Getting Kids' Financial Literacy Right
Channel: Other |
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MAY 2, 2011 Ask a child where money comes from and they may be stumped. Understanding the value and sources of money can be a challenging concept for young children. However, new research shows that even preschoolers can comprehend some basic financial concepts: "young children can be taught about the basic benefits and tools of sharing, savings, and purchase that will support good financial habits and practices as children, leading to better managed financial lives as adult independent spenders and savers," was one of the key conclusions of a recent University of Wisconsin study on financial literacy. A national survey conducted for the Canadian Institute of Chartered Accountantsfound that while 78% of parents say they have attempted to teach their children financial management skills, more than half (60%) believe that they have not been very successful. And a strong majority also believes that the financial services industry and governments also bear responsibility for ensuring that children and teenagers learn basic financial decision making skills. So how do you begin teaching children about money? Beth Kobliner, a financial journalist and member of the President's Advisory Council on Financial Capability, recommends starting with a discussion about your family's values about money, not math. In a recent article for the Huffington Post she suggests these conversation starters: - We make choices every day. When you go to the store, you have a finite amount of money. You can't buy all the different paint sets -- you have to choose one.
- Sometimes we have to wait. (It's good to delay gratification.) You may have to pass up tempting items now to buy one big thing that you really want later.
- It's good to help others. You can share your time, your talents and even your money. And sometimes it's fun to share money with a friend who has less.
- People work to make money. A teacher earns money. A police officer earns money. The librarian earns money. You can recycle cans, wash a car, or rake leaves and make money.
- You can keep money in three jars. If we get money, like from our grandma for a birthday present, we can put it into three jars: some of it is for spending, some is for saving and some is for sharing.
by Tina Albrecht
BC Council for Families www.bccf.ca Taken from: http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?llr=lriiijcab&v=001JbA8pPO1z-MaH7L2LXpcGI_kJU9omM8aYL5Racnupc8dZMXwKCsL_9kIeBy36VS83oQ5o4tGM1PrcPGZM11na-lHwLNQw446Wt1sOL3Z9qiZdxRO706GGKpRJtzzCkjC7fX_Z_ET0sM%3D
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Right Fuel for Back to School
Channel: Health/Safety |
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Hockey. Dance. Piano. Karate. Soccer. Homework. Family time.Now, balance all of these commitments while trying to provide healthy meals and snacks for your family. Easy? Not at all. Busy parents today know this balancing act all too well and know that preparing healthy meals and snacks can be a challenge. With children and adults struggling to eat the minimum requirements in the milk products and vegetables and fruit food groups of Canada's Food Guide to Healthy Eating, it is more important than ever to strive to provide nutritious take-along food instead of hitting the drive-thru window. Lunchables, mini chocolate bars, small bags of potato chips, pop and other "treats" are tempting to time-strapped parents but prepackaged, highly processed items are expensive calories low on nutrition but loaded with sodium, trans fats, refined starches and sugars. Eating the recommended servings from the food groups is more likely to happen with food prepared at home and following Canada’s Food Guide has many benefits. People who get the recommended servings in their meals and snacks perform better at school, work and play; have healthier weights; eat more essential nutrients; lower their risk of chronic disease such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and osteoporosis; and have better emotional health, energy, appetite cont.rol, and immune systems. So how do parents provide nutritious meals and snacks, especially while merging back into the fast lane of the school season? Here are a few tips: - Get your children involved: Instead of becoming a short-order cook, encourage your kids to give you a hand in the kitchen. Discuss how to make healthy food choices and why this is important to their health, growth, energy level and fitness. Let them make, wrap and pack their own sandwiches. Most kids take pride in their personal sandwich creations and you'll be starting them off to making good food decisions for later life.
- Make snacks count: Little stomachs need smaller portions but need to be filled more often. Stay away from processed snack foods; instead create your own in reusable containers with small compartments. Kids generally prefer raw veggies to cooked, and they love to dip and dunk. Pack pod-peas, carrots, celery, broccoli, cauliflower or cherry tomatoes with a homemade cream cheese and spinach dip.
- Have healthy options available: Limit the juice and pop. Instead, put a single-serving -sized milk in the freezer over night. It'll thaw out by lunch and it will help keep other foods cool and fresh. Don't keep a lot of junk food around in the house. If you have healthy choices available (fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese, whole grain breads) then no matter what your child decides to bring for lunch it will be a good choice
Copyright © 2011. Alberta Health Services |
Five popular baby foods to avoid
Channel: Babies/Toddlers |
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Written for Canada Approved by the BabyCenter Canada Medical Advisory Board
Last reviewed: October 2010 From 500-calorie desserts disguised as coffee drinks to greasy, salt-encrusted french fries, we adults usually know when we're making unwise food choices. But often we don't realize that many of the foods we routinely give babies are essentially junk food – high in calories, sugar, or salt, and low in nutrients.
Eating junk food is more damaging to babies than adults. That's because babies don't need many calories, but they do need lots of nutrients. It's easy for them to fill up quickly on junk food's empty calories, leaving no room for nutrient-rich healthy foods, says doctor and American Dietetic Association spokesperson Christine Gerbstadt. The nutrition deficit can even hinder development, she adds.
So what's a parent to do? Start by learning which popular foods to stay away from. Here's our list of the worst food offenders for babies.
Pop
It seems too obvious to mention, but believe it or not, some babies are served soft drinks as early as 7 months of age. Whether regular or diet, soft drinks provide absolutely no nutrients. Regular pop contains a ton of sugar, which can wreak havoc on your baby's teeth. And filling up on either type means babies eat and drink less of the nutritious food their bodies really need.
Juice
Sure, it comes from fruit, but that doesn't mean it's healthy. The fibre in fresh fruit is largely lost in the juicing process, and what's left is a whole lot of sugar. "Juice is basically a waste of calories," says pediatrician Ari Brown, co-author of Baby 411: Clear Answers and Smart Advice for Your Baby's First Year. Certain types of juice – in large quantities - can also lead to diarrhea in some babies. What about advertisers' claims that juice provides babies with necessary vitamin C? Don't be fooled. "Babies can easily get their vitamin C from one small serving of fruit," says Brown. What should your baby drink instead? Health Canada recommends that babies younger than six months drink nothing but breast milk or formula. Babies six to 12 months old can have small amounts of water, but breast milk or formula should still be their main beverage. After the first birthday, cow's milk is recommended. Crackers
They make convenient snacks once your baby can bite and chew, but it won't take many to satisfy your little one's appetite, leaving no room for nutrient-rich foods. Also, just as eating sweet things can help babies develop a sweet tooth, eating salty things can give them a "salty tooth."
The ever-popular fish-shaped crackers fall into this category. "What a waste of calories in a snack," says Brown. "Fruit slices are a much better choice." And if you're looking for an instant grab-and-go snack, low-sugar cereals have more nutritional value than crackers, she says.
Processed meals
People define processed foods in different ways, but in general, the more the food is modified from what was originally caught, raised, or grown – and the longer the list of ingredients – the more processed the food. With heavy processing, foods often lose significant nutritional value and gain unhealthy additives.
"The more processed the food, the more nutritional value tends to go down, and the more the sugar, salt, and fat content goes up," says Kate Geagan, dietitian and author of Go Green, Get Lean.
The worst processed foods parents serve up are the ones not specifically meant for babies, such as canned pasta, says dietitian Eileen Behan, author of The Baby Food Bible. "They often contain way too much sodium." You're better off boiling up some noodles and topping them with a few crushed tomatoes.
Gelatin desserts
"You'd be surprised at how many people think a gelatin dessert is a wholesome food for babies," says Gerbstadt. Why the misconception? Many people think gelatin contains protein, perhaps because it's made from processed animal bones and cartilage. But it doesn't, says Gerbstadt – at least, not in any significant amount. "What the baby ends up eating is nearly all sugar, artificial colour, and artificial flavour, and a trace amount of gelatin to make it wiggly," she says.
True, gelatin is easy to swallow, but then again, so is Gerbstadt's own idea of a healthy dessert: a baked, mashed apple with a sprinkle of cinnamon. "It's naturally sweet and has good fibre, vitamins, and a yummy, smooth texture," she says. "That's what I'd opt for." |
Bathing your Baby Safely
Channel: Health/Safety |
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Approved by the BabyCentre Medical Advisory Board
Last reviewed: September 2010 Your baby may love splashing about in the water, but there are important rules to follow to make bath time safe as well as fun. The first and most important rule is never leave your baby alone in the bath. Read on for more tips on how to keep your baby clean and out of harm's way. What's the right water temperature for my baby's bath?
Make sure the bath water is comfortably warm but not hot before putting your baby in. Water that’s warmed to about 37 degrees C is just right (AWHONN 2007, Blume-Peytavi et al 2009).
You can buy a thermometer to check the temperature of the bath water. Some thermometers are designed as a safe and fun bath toy.
Put cold water in the bath first, then hot. This will reduce the risk of scalding your baby. Never put your baby into a bath when the water is still running. The water temperature can change quickly.
If you’re using the family bath, cover the taps. Try to teach your baby not to touch the taps as she grows into toddlerhood. Even if she can't turn them on now she'll be strong enough to do so soon, and she could scald herself.
If you have separate hot and cold taps on your bath, you could fit a mixing valve to the hot tap. This will control the water temperature so it won’t get too hot as it comes out of the tap (SafeKids nd). A child can get second and third-degree burns within seconds of being in water that’s too hot (Titus et al 2003).
Although her bath may be warm, your baby can quickly lose heat when you take her out of the water, so keep the room warm. When you lift your baby out of the bath, wrap her in a hooded towel and dry her before putting her nappy on (AWHONN 2007, DH 2009b).
Then wrap your baby in a dry towel or blanket again, and give her a cuddle for about 10 minutes to help her keep warm (AWHONN 2007). Once she's dressed, wrap her up again in a dry, warm blanket.
How deep can I make the water?
For newborns and babies up to six months old, fill the bath with about 13cm (5in) of water. Or just make sure there’s enough to allow your baby to settle in the water with her shoulders well covered (AWHONN 2007).
Never fill the bath more than waist-high (in a sitting position) for older babies and children. Never put your baby into a bath when the water is still running. The depth could quickly rise too high.
How can I safely support my baby in the water?
You may wish to use a bath support to allow you to keep your hands free for washing your baby. If your baby can’t sit up yet, a bath cradle will support her in the water. If she’s old enough to sit up, you can use a bath seat. Always stay with your baby while she's in the bath, whatever type of bath or bath support you use (DH 2009a, Sibert et al 2005, ROSPA nd). Babies can drown in less than 3cm of water (ROSPA nd) and it can take just seconds for a baby to slip into the water and be helpless. In the UK, about one baby every other year drowns and others are left with serious injuries after being left alone while in a baby bath support (Sibert et al 2005). If you're using your big bath, put a rubber bathmat in the bottom of the bath. As your baby grows, teach her to sit in the bath at all times. This will discourage her from standing up, slipping or losing her balance. How often can I bath my baby?
It's up to you how often you bath your baby. Bath time may be a fun and relaxing daily ritual for you and your baby. But if you don't want to give your baby a bath every day, once or twice a week should be fine during the first month or so. Provided you top and tail, and wash off any obvious dirt on non-bath days, your baby will be clean enough (AWHONN 2007, Blume-Peytavi et al 2009). [Top= wash baby's face, neck & hands; Tail= wash baby's genitals and bum] When your baby’s a couple of months old you may want to start making a bath part of her bedtime routine. However, you won’t need to wash your baby's hair every day. Her hair will produce very little oil, so once a week is plenty. Choose a mild, unperfumed soap or a pH neutral liquid baby bath product (AWHONN 2007, Blume-Peytavie et al 2009, DH 2009a,b). If your baby's skin is dry or irritated, you could add a little bath emollient to the water. Using emollient can make your baby's skin slippery, so keep a gentle but secure grip of your baby while she's in the water. Is it safe to share a bath with my baby?
It's quite safe to have a bath with your baby once she is about two months old, and you're confident about handling her. You'll need someone there to help you by handing you your baby, and taking her from you while you get out of the bath. Alternatively, your partner may like to get in the bath, while you help. There's nothing like skin-to-skin contact for strengthening attachment between dad and baby. Whichever one of you is getting in the bath with your baby should shower or wash first. Then simply prepare the bathroom and bath as set out above. Can I nip out of the bathroom just for a few seconds?
No. Never leave your baby unattended in the bath. (Yes, it's so important we're saying it again.)
Have everything you need for your baby’s bath ready before you start, with towels, toiletries, a clean nappy and pyjamas within reach. If someone knocks at the door or the phone rings and you feel you must answer it, scoop your baby up in a towel and take her with you. |
Songs and Rhymes #2
Channel: Babies/Toddlers |
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If You're Happy and You Know It If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap, clap) If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap, clap) If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, If you're happy and you know it clap your hands (clap, clap) If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet (stomp, stomp) If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet (stomp, stomp) If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet (stomp, stomp) If you're happy and you know it shout hurray (hurr-ay) If you're happy and you know it shout hurray (hurr-ay) If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, If you're happy and you know it shout hurray (hurr-ay) I've Been Working on the Railroad I've been working on the railroad, All the live long day. I've been working on the railroad, just to pass the time away. Don't you hear the whistle blowing? Rise up so early in the morn. Don't you hear the captain shouting, "Dinah, blow your horn"? Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow your horn? Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow, Dinah, won't you blow your horn? Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah. Someone's in the kitchen, I know. Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah Strumming the old banjo. Fee, fie, fiddle-i-o Fee, fie, fiddle-i-o Fee, fie, fiddle-i-o Strumming on the old banjo. Mary Had a Little Lamb Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow. And every where that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went, Every where that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day, It followed her to school one day, which was against the rule. It made the children laugh and shout, laugh and shout, laugh and shout, It made the children lauch and shout, to see a lamb at school. Little Miss Muffet Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffet away. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockle shells And pretty maids all in a row. Old MacDonald Had a Farm Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I, E-I, O And on his farm he had a cow E-I, E-I, O With a moo-moo here and a moo-moo there, Here a moo, there a moo, Every where a moo-moo Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I, E-I, O *Repeat for horse, chicken, pig, donkey, etc. One, Two, Buckle My Shoe One, two, buckle my shoe; Three, four, lock the door; Five, six, pick up sticks; Seven, eight, lay them straight; Nine, ten, a good fat hen; Eleven, twelve, dig and delve; Thirteen, fourteen, maids a-courting; Fifteen, sixteen, maids a-kissing; Seventeen, eighteen, maids a-waiting; Nineteen, twenty, my plate's empty. Pat-a-Cake, Pat-a-Cake Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man. Bake me a cake as fast as you can; Pat it and prick it and mark it with a 'B', And put it in the oven for baby and me. Ring-a-Round the Rosie Ring-a-round the rosie A pocket full of posies, Husha! Husha! We all fall down. Round and Round the Garden Round and round the garden, Like a teddy bear, One step, two step, Tickle you under there! Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn around, Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch the ground; Teddy bear, teddy bear, touch your nose, Teddy bear, teddy bear, point to your toes; Teddy bear, teddy bear, turn out the light, Teddy bear, teddy bear, say goodnight. Row, Row, Row Your Boat Row, row, row your boat Gently down the stream, Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, Life is but a dream. This Little Piggy This little piggy went to market, This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef, This little piggy had none. This little piggy went wee, wee, wee, all the way home. The More We Get Together The more we get together, together, together, The more we get together, the happier we'll be. For your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends, The more we get together, the happier we'll be. This Old Man This old man, he played one, He played knick-knack on my drum, With a knick-knack, paddy whack, Give a dog a bone; This old man came rolling home. This old man, he played two, He played knick-knack on my shoe.... This old man, he played three, He played knick-knack on my knee.... This old man, he played four, He played knick-knack on my door.... This old man, he played five, He played knick-knack on my hive.... This old man, he played six, He played knick-knack on my sticks.... This old man, he played seven, He played knick-knack up in heaven.... This old man, he played eight, He played knick-knack on my gate.... This old man, he played nine, He played knick-knack on my spine... This old man, he played ten, He played knick-knack once again... Where is Thumbkin? Where is Thumbkin? Where is Thumbkin? Here I am, Here I am. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, I thank you. Very well, I thank you. Run Away. Run Away. Where is Pointer? Where is Pointer? Here I am, Here I am. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, I thank you. Very well, I thank you. Run Away. Run Away. Where is Tall Man? Where is Tall Man? Here I am, Here I am. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, I thank you. Very well, I thank you. Run Away. Run Away. Where is Ring Man? Where is Ring Man? Here I am, Here I am. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, I thank you. Very well, I thank you. Run Away. Run Away. Where is Pinkie? Where is Pinkie? Here I am, Here I am. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, I thank you. Very well, I thank you. Run Away. Run Away. Where is the family? Where is the family? Here we are. Here we are. How are you this morning? How are you this morning? Very well, we thank you. Very well, we thank you. Run Away. Run Away. What are Little Boys Made Of? What are little boys made of? What are little boys made of? Snaps and snails and puppy dog tails, That's what little boys are made of. What are Little Girls Made of? What are little girls made of? What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. That's what little girls are made of.
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Last Online: May 10, 2012
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